J-Mail
by Mirai Jinchuuriki
Summary: Its been over 20 years since the 4th Great Shinobi War ended. And one day, my friend and i got curious about our tou-chans' pasts so we started digging and found these old e-mails. We thought the world should see 'em! Enjoy minna! (not really a lot of plot but...) (T for swearing... copious swearing...)
1. Summation

A Brief Explanation

a/n &amp;dis: I do NOT under _ANY _circumstance own Naruto, Kishimoto-sensei does. I own any OCs I introduce, my plot and my insanity. Keep the flames down please, Tobirama, Zabuza and my other Suiton users have all run away. This story is a collab between myself and ryuwar6. I'll only be handling the Naruto parts.

* * *

_My name is Uzumaki Tsubaki, daughter of the 6th Hokage Uzumaki Naruto and his wife Hinata._

Hi! I'm Kuro Sabaku no Baku Hitsugi. Son of Sabaku no Gaara, 5th Kazekage and Matsuri.

_We've known each other our entire lives and recently, while snooping through our tou-chans' stuff (don't tell them! Or I will totally unleash a Hyouton: Rasen-Yari on you….) and found these old e-mails. What got me was that some of them took place BEFORE they met at their first Chuunin exams._

So, Tou-sama was a bit... moody at this point of his life... I don't think he would appreciate me going through his stuff.

_And mine was an even BIGGER dumbass. (I point back at the Hyouton: Rasen-Yari threat at this point.) But that is beside the point. We decided it was time the world knew of the J-Mail (e-mail for Jinchuuriki. J-mail, get it?) exchanged between the former and current Ichibi Jinchuuriki and the current Kyuubi Jinchuuriki._

So what did your dad say Tsubaki?

_I'll dig out the oldest one and set it up for everyone to read. You go find your tou-chan's first entry._

Alright!


	2. The First Correspondence

The First Correspondence

a/n &amp;dis: I do NOT under _ANY _circumstance own Naruto, Kishimoto-sensei does. I own any OCs I introduce, my plot and my insanity. Keep the flames down please, Tobirama, Zabuza and my other Suiton users have all run away. This story is a collab between myself and Ryuwar6. I'll onl-

**HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ryu-san desu~~~! :DDD**

-y be handling the Naruto parts.

_You invaded my disclaimer…Kono yarō!_

**.~. Nani?**

_I invade YOU next time. Be prepared._

* * *

So this is the first e-mail (which we will now only call J-Mail) my tou-chan sent Baku's. From what our parents and their friends have told us, it was several years before they first met. It'll be interesting to see how it lines up with the stories we were told growing up, ne?

_Wait, so Tou-san might've lied? And Kaa-san believed him as well? Dang it!_

No offense, but Matsuri-baasan IS Gaara-jiisan's biggest fan girl. He could say he was a stripper for his daimyo and she'd believe him.

~J-Mail Start~

from futurehokage  to sunatanuki 

Hey kid Jii-chan told me to e-mail.

I'm Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage of Konohagakure. I'm 6 years old. He said we were similar. I dunno what he meant, but hey, i trust my Jii-chan. He'd never lie to me. So….e-mail me back. Bye!

~J-Mail End~

At least i know where i got my literacy from and its not tou-chan…..

_That sounds like a personal problem._

**Hyouton Rasen-yari!**

_**Sakin: Inperiaru Kabe!**_

One day, Baku. Those gold dust walls won't work forever. Someday my Rasen-yari will hit you.

_And until that day comes. I bid, both you AND the readers, a farewell._

See ya guys. Baku's got the next part. Should be interesting to see how Gaara-jiisan responded.


	3. The First Response

First Response

_**Ryu: Heyo~~! What's up, I'm sorry for keeping on starting on new content and never finishing others, but hey... This one I know for sure will get things done because nee-chan over there won't let me rest till it's done... But uhh. Besides that, Kishimoto-senpai owns all the canon characters. And I own my own OC's, nee-chan owns hers, and the idea of this. So, EVERYBODY STAND UP!(See what I did there?)**_

_Athy: Welcome to the Gaara Section of J-Mail, mainly written by my kawaii otouto Ryu-chan._

_**I'm NOT KAWAII GOD DAMN IT LEAVE ME ALONE! **_

_You are my taisetsu na kawaii otouto-chan! Deal with it!_

_**NO!**_

_Well, too bad. Bleh! Let's move onto the story._

_**Bleh?! That's All you Gotta say?! Bl-**_

* * *

So, aside from our counterparts arguing at the moment. They weren't the only ones. Looks like Tou-san had it pretty bad at first too.

_Baku-chan dug out Gaara-jiisan's first response. And dear god was it angsty….Sasuke-jiisan would be jealous of the sheer emo…_

He was NOT EMO.

_I dunno...some of his later j-mails seemed pretty emo...and i was raised next door to Sasuke-jiisan and his emo as fuck daughters Itachiko and Mikoto_

I SAID SHUT UP DAMN IT! **SAKIN: Kureijimashingan**

_Jyuuken: Shugohakke Rokujūyon Shō!_

FRICKIN' FRICK.

_You aren't the only one with a defensive move Baku-chan! Wait...we're acting like the baka author-tachi..._

Weren't we supposed to do something?

_Yes! You were supposed to post Gaara-jiisan's response to my tou-chan's j-mail!_

Frickin' FRICK!

_Baku. Calm. Just get the j-mail and post it. it's not rocket science kid. Why am i the calm one? My dad was the hyper baka..._

Because I'm a guy, and guys are stupid.

_Neji-jiisan just got insulted… and Shino-jiisan…and Gaara-jiisan..._

~J-Mail Starto!~

From sunatanuki  to futurehokage 

To the kid that sent me that,

Who are you? What do you mean we are similar? Do people try killing you too?

~J-Mail Ends!~

_I stand by my emo statement Baku-chan…_

... Shut up...

_You can't disagree, can you?_

... See ya next time folks!

_I gotta go find tou-chan's next e-mail. Sayonara, minna-san!_


	4. The Second Response

Second Reply

a/n &amp; dis: I do NOT under _ANY _circumstance own Naruto, Kishimoto-sensei does. I own any OCs I introduce, my plot and my insanity. Keep the flames down please, Tobirama, Zabuza and my other Suiton users have all run away. This story is a collab between myself and Ryuwar6.

_Kon'nichiwa!_

Again? Nevermind. Lets get to the story proper.

* * *

So...the second one was dumber than the first… i'm extremely surprised tou-chan survived the 4th Great Shinobi War…

_That's mean don't you think?_

You'll see what i mean…. tou-chan acts just like the stories… its kinda sad….

_Explain please..._

No words…. none….

_Dear Kami..._

~J-Mail Start~

from: futurehokage 

to: sunatanuki 

Its U-ZU-MA-KI NA-RU-TO! It ain't that hard baka! And kill? Whats that? Something you can eat? Sounds like a gross vegetable to me. Jii-chan said we were similar cuz app'rently our villages both hate us. I'm gonna show all this jerks and i'm gonna become Hokage and show them all!

~J-Mail End~

See what i mean Baku-chan…

_Question..__._

What is it Baku-chan?

_How illiterate WAS Naruto-jiisan?_

According to kaa-chan, he didn't learn till he got into the Academy. Which makes me wonder how he got IN.

_Excuse me while I go bang my head against the rock walls of the village..._

I was going to ask Lee-sensei to punch me in the face…. but he said i might die so i settled for banging my head against the wooden village walls.

_See ya... My head hurts... Kaa-san do we have Ice-packs?_

Bye…..need to go make an ice pack….


	5. The Third Response

Third Response

**Ryu: Welp, looks like I'm up again... Don't have much to say but: Kishimoto-senpai own all the canon characters. And I own my own OC's, nee-chan owns hers, and the idea for this. Later **

Yes. Athy-sama is the mastermind this piece of genius! HAHAHAHAHA!

**Athy-baka***

Lets move on before we have another fight. Onto the story!

**NO! I WI-**

* * *

So, looks like it's my turn again.

_And we finally recovered from our self inflicted concussions._

What you mean recovered? *points to icepack*

_Well...i guess living in the best village for med-nins has its advantages…_

Don't rub it in...

_Rub rub rub._

**Saki-**

_Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Justu! Hyouton: Rasen-Yari! I got more than just my parents jutsus. I got their monster chakra reserves too._

FRICKIN' FRICK! **Sakin: Inperiaru Kabe!**

_Tch. So, how did Gaara-jiisan respond to the masterpiece of dipshittery?_

OH ITS HILARIOUS!

_SHOW ME!_

~J-Mail START~

from: sunatanuki 

to: futurehokage 

I know your name stupid... But, why do you want to contact me? Mother said... Mother said no one loved me... And... Do people... hurt you?

~J-Mail END~

_Uuuummm…. Gaara-jiisan must have had a fucked up childhood…._

You don't know the half of it.

_Damn….poor Gaara-jiisan…. but at least he has lots of people who care about him now, ne?_

Yeah...

_And he got Shukaku back after the Juubi incident… does he still get insomnia?_

Nah, he and Shukaku are on equal terms.

_That crazy sand tanuki made a friend? Whoa… _

He's not that bad.

_How would you know? Seriously…_

I've talked to him.

_Well tou-chan has let me talk to Kurama since eventually he's gonna be in my care… i guess it makes sense._

Welp, See ya next time folks!

_See ya minna-san!_


End file.
